The usual fat girl action. Excuse. Having an excuse for everything done and not done. For example, my excuse for not blogging is the start of the school of year and the start of grad school which led to less running which led to more eating out which led to more happy hourssss which led to more binge eating which led oh who cares if it's just one more sweet treat annnnd you get the point.
I've learned some things in the past 3 months. I've learned that I and you can really do anything that you set your mind. Setting goals are scary and daunting but once they are set, so are you. Even if you don't accomplish them in full YOU FREAKING TRIED. That's the first step. I'm terrified of failure BUT you learn more when you fail. Now I sound like I'm talking to my students. In all seriousness, failing is an option and if you do fail...Fuck it. Put your big girl panties on and get it in gear. I didn't loose anymore weight in fact I'm 99.98% sure I gained more weight. Oh but I did run a 5k. Booooyah. I also learned that I am good at finding excuses for everything I do, whether it be one more glass of wine or one less minute on the treadmill or one more day of procrastination in my school work. I'm reeeeeeeally good at it. As I explained before, it's the worst thing I can do for myself. It's my greatest enemy. Not to sound all deep, but at times I am my own worst enemy. I can't do this on my own. It's not possible. Maybe you are the strongest person and YOU know what's best but I don't. I need someone there telling me PUT IT DOWN FATTY. Okay, not that way but you get the point. It takes a village to raise a child well it takes a metropolis to lose weight. I need support and I have it. I just never realized it. My friends support me and I support them which is usually how friendships work to begin with. With them, WE CAN DO THIS. Finally, I learned that peanut butter is the biggest trigger I have. I can destroy an entire jar if I wasn't judging myself so badly. So it's with a heavy heart and a lot of whining, I have to give it up. I know there are alternatives but let's be real...they're gateway drugs. I would eat all the low calories and low fat ones but that's like saying it's okay to lust after Gary Busy when you want George Clooney. Legitimate comparison. Once I'm done with peanut butter in my house, I have to cut back. I'm going to buy the snack packs and once those are gone...I'm going to attempt an every other week routine. I know how this sounds but this true. I'm a food addict. I want peanut butter all the time. Not because I'm hungry but because I can have it. Pathetic.
So there it is. To the 3 people who read this, I'm sorry for not keeping up but I got new kicks and better understanding of what is necessary to get into shape.
Thank you for all the support and love last year and here's to a NEW YEAR!
