Slow and steady...

Today I weigh in at 198. 5 pounds down. Plenty go. The holidays are a bitch to try and lose weight I'm being careful. Again, it's allllll about being conscience of what you're eating. Wish me luck. I hope to be down 5 more by Christmas. Wish me luck :)

Eat, Eat, Workout, Eat, Eat...

Something is wrong with that because I take in too many calories and not do not put enough out. Shocker. Like I said before, working out is never a problem. Even if I have pain in my ankle, I can do plenty of cardio on the elliptical. It's this Gosh Damn holiday food that gets me. Who doesn't love turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pies, cheesecake, etc? If you don't, you don't have a soul. I threw caution to the wind and ate what I wanted and GUESS WHAT?!?!? Caution swung back around and splattered all over my scale. Again...shocker. I'm back up to 203. Probably 204 but my scale is weird. So a new week, no more pity party, lets do this.
Current weight: 203
Goal weight: 193 - 5% of weight
Due Date: 12/5 - New Due Date: 5 weeks from TODAY 12/30
Yes...THIS IS BOLD. Especially over the holidays. This will require self control and logical which I lack a lot of....Wish me LUCK!:)

Step #1

I joined a gym. Probably one of the better ideas I have had in the last 3 months. It's pricey but it includes several classes which I have to get the courage to do. I have started to do hot yoga which is the shiz. I love the feeling and the moment of piece I have at the end of the session. When I work out, I do 20-30 minutes of run/walking and 20 minutes with the elliptical. I add in weights once a week but that will increase to two times.
On to food...well while I'm in school, I'm super solid. I eat well, don't snack, and I'm mindful of what I'm eating. When I get home, that's a whole other story. I am struggling to make dinner that is healthy but satisfying. Tips and recipes are welcome :)
Starting Weight: 203
Current Weight: 200
Goal Weight: 5%, 193

Well looky here...

It's been incredibly long since I wrote anything on this blog. Mainly because I'm lazy and do not like to hold myself accountable. Well today, I hit a milestone. A bad one. I stepped on the scale and I saw the number 2 at the beginning. I started to cry. Hysterically cry. Ugly cry. It's beyond embarrassing. I know I don't eat we'll and stopped exercising. I knew this so it shouldn't be shocking but it was. In fact I weighed myself TWICE an wouldn't you know, I weight .01 more than the first time I weighed myself. Oh hellllll no. Well here I go again. Down a road that I've traveled so many times but each time there's a different curve/stop sign/stop light/cow crossing. I'm actually writing because it holds me accountable. I spend my days telling kids to take responsibility for their actions WELLLL MS K get it together. So here it is:
Starting Weight: 203
Goal: 5% in 5 weeks
Goal Weight (12/3): 193

It's been so long...

Since I've written. I blame school. OH AND I GOT ENGAGED! Love that man :) which means its time to get my act together. I'm sitting at 186.7 lbs. my fighting weight is 173. Game the effe on. I have something to work for but I need to do it for life reasons too. My fiancé and I are not healthy AT ALL. We have to get healthy bc one day we will pop a kid and they should not have unhealthy parents. They deserve more than that. I know I'm skipping ahead but it starts now. We have to change our life styles. Let's be real. I'm not giving up drinking but I'm cutting back and switching to wine only for awhile. Since its more expensive, that means less drinks. I be poor. I also plan to incorporate my veggies. Fruits and protein no big deal but veggies. I got problems. Kevin (my boo) loves raw veggies so when I finally move in I'm replacing two dinners a week with a salad that has a protein too. I started running again an slowly working up to 8k distance. Okay people. Here we freaking go!!!!

I immediately regret that decision.

This week is the first week in a month that I have not worked out 5 days. I think this is unacceptable. I chose to go out eat and drink because I love my job. WELL FAT ASS I can show my happiness by taking care of myself. I've decided if I'm going out, I'm running first. Health has to come first. I saw this great line on Pinterest about learning to say "I can't. I have to work out." It's not that I have to, I need/want to. For the first time in my life, I can say that this object (working out) is the first thing that I need AND want. I need to do it because of my lifestyle and want to do it because it's a natural high. Save your jokes for later.
Today I ran an 11:51 mile. Badass for me. This coming Saturday I'm running a 5k. Next Saturday the 19th I'm running a 5k and Monday the 21st I'm running a 5k. I'm a crazy person I know. Three races in a month. I never race in actual races and I NEVER will. I want PRs so I can say, "New PR!". I like running lingo.
I'm excited for the summer. I'm excited for this move and I'm ready to keep improving. Run y'all. Run.

COOOLLLLEEEGGEEEE

That's apparently what I think I'm in right now. Call it anxiety, call it stress, call it a coping crazy but lately I have been going out with friends. Drinking and eating everything. I am also THAT PERSON who doesn't want Miller/Bud Lite. I want Dogfish Head(BL is 96 cals for 12 oz vs DFH at 210 cals for 12 oz) all the time. With Dogfish Head comes tacos, with tacos come chips, and so on. It's a vicious cycle but someone has to do it. Regardless, I've lost a total of 13 pounds. Before dietbet.com, I had lost 3 lbs plus the ten with the best. I have gained a pound but I know it can snow ball. PUT THE CHIPS DOWN KATIE, YOU'RE DRINKING YOUR CALORIES TONIGHT is what I should be saying every time. I have adopted the motto of the great Gene Kemmerer (my dad). When a waiter asks if I want dessert, I always point to my drink and say, "This is my dessert." I wish Wilmington were a lot like Paris. There is NO FOOD at 1 am in Paris. Mais oui, Wilmington's bars will serve you food until 1 am. Bad choice. I know I need to cut back but I'm having WAY too much fun. I think it comes down to choices. I can't drink DFH every time I go out. I have to drink skinnier drinks and enjoy it. Wah Wah WAhhhhhhh. However, when I'm wearing a bathing suite rather than a blanket this summer, I will thank Budweiser and Miller.

I win!

I did dietbet.com with a group of friends and bet $20 that I would lose 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks and BAM I lost 10 pounds. I have rediscovered my love for running and sweating my ass off. Literally. I didn't know if I had the motivation but I'm tired of being sad about my body. I literally woke up and said effe this. I need to take care of myself and love myself again. It feels so good to go to the gym and go for a run outside again. I'm enjoying pushing myself to move faster and faster. The best part is...it never gets boring. Of course it's difficult and I want to punch someone on certain days but g-dang I feel so good and so fulfilled at the end of my workout. I know my weight lose will slow down but I don't care because I'm building muscle. I'm sure you get frustrated when you don't lose but come on. If you say, "Ugh I didn't lose. Wah Wah Wah." and allow yourself to get down on yourself, there is something else going there besides weight. Truth. You gotta want to better yourself to keep it up. The time is now peeps.

It's been a long time...

As I sit here in my old college library, I'm reminded of my terrible eating habits. I wonder how different college would have been if I had led a healthier lifestyle. Would I have the courage that I have now to try different things and go different places? I like to reflect on the past and change my future. Yep, I'm one of those people.
I started classes yet again and yet again...no time to cook. I have good a good balance though with my meals. When I have time, I cook. I don't cook good things but terrible things. I don't trust myself to eat correctly when I cook. I literally need someone to perfectly measure my meals. When I don't have time, I have a bowl of oatmeal or yogurt with fruit. In the past 3 weeks, I have been extremely conscious of what I put in my body knowing exactly how many calories I have left. I have also notice, I am NOT trend setter. I'm a stealer or borrower, if you will. I don't pave the way for anyone. I'm not creative in my cooking or my workouts BUT I am determined. And if you're trying to lose weight, I'm your biggest fan. I've been there, I've done that. Every FREAKING diet known to man. In fact, I'm doing dietbet.com with a group of girlfriends in which you bet $20 you can lose 4% of your body weight. Well guess what happens when you cut your calories and ACTUALLY pay attention to what you eat? Oh that's right. You lose weight. Which is what I have done in the last 3 weeks. Eight pounds. Shocker.
So I already won which means, this mama is happy. I'd do it again because LORD KNOWS I hate losing money.
Go work out, eat right and god willing, you will lose weight. It's that simple people :)

Feeling Fat...yeah so am I. That's why I made Mac and Cheese.

Obviously this is the most fattening, most delicious, most guiltiest of all pleasures. Cheese. Cheese is so damn divine that I cannot explain it with words. I can only say that if I were offered a job that I got to taste cheese all day and do nothing else, I would take it and throw it everyone's face that I get paid to eat cheese.
This afternoon, with snow on the ground and my Fat Girl Syndrome hitting hard, I knew I had to make something that was savory and warmed my big ol' belly. That my friends is Mac and Cheese. Not just any Mac and Cheese but Valveeta Mac and Cheese. With this in mind, I chose ingredients that were lower in fat over all but still delicious. Let's be real...you won't eat it unless it's good.
I got the recipe from Kraft Recipes but I made some skinny decisions.

I added Turkey bacon, sweet peas, 2% milk cheeses (Mozzarella and Cheddar), and non-fat milk. I know it's still fattening and not the healthiest of foods for you but once again...you won't eat it unless it's good. And skinny doesn't always taste good. It's all called moderation people. I didn't eat the entire try (that's what I have Kevin for) and I don't eat seconds (I save for the next day because it saves money and calories).
Of all the Mac and Cheeses I have attempted, this is the best tasting and easiest to make! I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

I'm really losing it.

I had a terrible food weekend. I discovered my other trigger is cereal. I never knew. The only reason I can think of is that it's so easily accessed. Pour yourself a bowl...or two...or three. Stop judging. I judged myself enough. I ate a shit ton of cereal. No reason in particular. Seriously though, I went ape shit on that cereal. I overate. A LOT. I ate like I was starving. It's completely psychological. I tell myself, "This is it. No more." then I go crazy. I eat everything. From now, I need to slow down and enjoy the show.
I'm realizing more and more that it's my eating habits that are killing but not just what I eat. I notice that my eating schedule is off on the weekends because I'm not eating breakfast at 5:30 am or lunch at 10:30 am. This needs to change. The more realistic way to change this is to wait to eat my breakfast later so that I'm not starving. I also need to give myself those food that I want. Every payday, I go to Starbucks and order a coffee with cream and sugar and a warmed raspberry scone. It's so good, it hurts. I eat it too fast though. If I took my time, I would probably be able to enjoy more.
Today I went grocery shopping and I bought some items that I believe will help or have helped with curving that craving. I also went with the idea of the incredible egg! I hard boiled some eggs and bought snack foods that have the most impact on my hunger.
I bought the Jiff Peanut Butter cups and Planter's snack packs. Hopefully these tricks will help me get it in gear. OH and I ran for 30 minutes at 2.75 miles. Nice and slow :)

No shocker here!

Went to the doctor's today and NO SURPRISE, I gained a lot of weight in the past two months. 10 pounds to be exact. I would start listing reason why I gained weight but you and I both know why I gained weight. No, not the holidays. Just flat out lazy. Eat and drink alllllll day. So that means I'm up to 196 lbs. I expect to gain weight because u build muscle when you run but this more than that. I would be trimmer which I WAS but now I'm flubby. Listen, this is not me saying oh I'm so fat wah wah wah. Someone call the wahbulence. This is real life. Yes I'm overweight and feeling. I'm happy the scale knows how to punch you in the face.

Excuses. Excuses.

The usual fat girl action. Excuse. Having an excuse for everything done and not done. For example, my excuse for not blogging is the start of the school of year and the start of grad school which led to less running which led to more eating out which led to more happy hourssss which led to more binge eating which led oh who cares if it's just one more sweet treat annnnd you get the point.
I've learned some things in the past 3 months. I've learned that I and you can really do anything that you set your mind. Setting goals are scary and daunting but once they are set, so are you. Even if you don't accomplish them in full YOU FREAKING TRIED. That's the first step. I'm terrified of failure BUT you learn more when you fail. Now I sound like I'm talking to my students. In all seriousness, failing is an option and if you do fail...Fuck it. Put your big girl panties on and get it in gear. I didn't loose anymore weight in fact I'm 99.98% sure I gained more weight. Oh but I did run a 5k. Booooyah. I also learned that I am good at finding excuses for everything I do, whether it be one more glass of wine or one less minute on the treadmill or one more day of procrastination in my school work. I'm reeeeeeeally good at it. As I explained before, it's the worst thing I can do for myself. It's my greatest enemy. Not to sound all deep, but at times I am my own worst enemy. I can't do this on my own. It's not possible. Maybe you are the strongest person and YOU know what's best but I don't. I need someone there telling me PUT IT DOWN FATTY. Okay, not that way but you get the point. It takes a village to raise a child well it takes a metropolis to lose weight. I need support and I have it. I just never realized it. My friends support me and I support them which is usually how friendships work to begin with. With them, WE CAN DO THIS. Finally, I learned that peanut butter is the biggest trigger I have. I can destroy an entire jar if I wasn't judging myself so badly. So it's with a heavy heart and a lot of whining, I have to give it up. I know there are alternatives but let's be real...they're gateway drugs. I would eat all the low calories and low fat ones but that's like saying it's okay to lust after Gary Busy when you want George Clooney. Legitimate comparison. Once I'm done with peanut butter in my house, I have to cut back. I'm going to buy the snack packs and once those are gone...I'm going to attempt an every other week routine. I know how this sounds but this true. I'm a food addict. I want peanut butter all the time. Not because I'm hungry but because I can have it. Pathetic.
So there it is. To the 3 people who read this, I'm sorry for not keeping up but I got new kicks and better understanding of what is necessary to get into shape.
Thank you for all the support and love last year and here's to a NEW YEAR!