I'm really losing it.

I had a terrible food weekend. I discovered my other trigger is cereal. I never knew. The only reason I can think of is that it's so easily accessed. Pour yourself a bowl...or two...or three. Stop judging. I judged myself enough. I ate a shit ton of cereal. No reason in particular. Seriously though, I went ape shit on that cereal. I overate. A LOT. I ate like I was starving. It's completely psychological. I tell myself, "This is it. No more." then I go crazy. I eat everything. From now, I need to slow down and enjoy the show.
I'm realizing more and more that it's my eating habits that are killing but not just what I eat. I notice that my eating schedule is off on the weekends because I'm not eating breakfast at 5:30 am or lunch at 10:30 am. This needs to change. The more realistic way to change this is to wait to eat my breakfast later so that I'm not starving. I also need to give myself those food that I want. Every payday, I go to Starbucks and order a coffee with cream and sugar and a warmed raspberry scone. It's so good, it hurts. I eat it too fast though. If I took my time, I would probably be able to enjoy more.
Today I went grocery shopping and I bought some items that I believe will help or have helped with curving that craving. I also went with the idea of the incredible egg! I hard boiled some eggs and bought snack foods that have the most impact on my hunger.
I bought the Jiff Peanut Butter cups and Planter's snack packs. Hopefully these tricks will help me get it in gear. OH and I ran for 30 minutes at 2.75 miles. Nice and slow :)

No shocker here!

Went to the doctor's today and NO SURPRISE, I gained a lot of weight in the past two months. 10 pounds to be exact. I would start listing reason why I gained weight but you and I both know why I gained weight. No, not the holidays. Just flat out lazy. Eat and drink alllllll day. So that means I'm up to 196 lbs. I expect to gain weight because u build muscle when you run but this more than that. I would be trimmer which I WAS but now I'm flubby. Listen, this is not me saying oh I'm so fat wah wah wah. Someone call the wahbulence. This is real life. Yes I'm overweight and feeling. I'm happy the scale knows how to punch you in the face.

Excuses. Excuses.

The usual fat girl action. Excuse. Having an excuse for everything done and not done. For example, my excuse for not blogging is the start of the school of year and the start of grad school which led to less running which led to more eating out which led to more happy hourssss which led to more binge eating which led oh who cares if it's just one more sweet treat annnnd you get the point.
I've learned some things in the past 3 months. I've learned that I and you can really do anything that you set your mind. Setting goals are scary and daunting but once they are set, so are you. Even if you don't accomplish them in full YOU FREAKING TRIED. That's the first step. I'm terrified of failure BUT you learn more when you fail. Now I sound like I'm talking to my students. In all seriousness, failing is an option and if you do fail...Fuck it. Put your big girl panties on and get it in gear. I didn't loose anymore weight in fact I'm 99.98% sure I gained more weight. Oh but I did run a 5k. Booooyah. I also learned that I am good at finding excuses for everything I do, whether it be one more glass of wine or one less minute on the treadmill or one more day of procrastination in my school work. I'm reeeeeeeally good at it. As I explained before, it's the worst thing I can do for myself. It's my greatest enemy. Not to sound all deep, but at times I am my own worst enemy. I can't do this on my own. It's not possible. Maybe you are the strongest person and YOU know what's best but I don't. I need someone there telling me PUT IT DOWN FATTY. Okay, not that way but you get the point. It takes a village to raise a child well it takes a metropolis to lose weight. I need support and I have it. I just never realized it. My friends support me and I support them which is usually how friendships work to begin with. With them, WE CAN DO THIS. Finally, I learned that peanut butter is the biggest trigger I have. I can destroy an entire jar if I wasn't judging myself so badly. So it's with a heavy heart and a lot of whining, I have to give it up. I know there are alternatives but let's be real...they're gateway drugs. I would eat all the low calories and low fat ones but that's like saying it's okay to lust after Gary Busy when you want George Clooney. Legitimate comparison. Once I'm done with peanut butter in my house, I have to cut back. I'm going to buy the snack packs and once those are gone...I'm going to attempt an every other week routine. I know how this sounds but this true. I'm a food addict. I want peanut butter all the time. Not because I'm hungry but because I can have it. Pathetic.
So there it is. To the 3 people who read this, I'm sorry for not keeping up but I got new kicks and better understanding of what is necessary to get into shape.
Thank you for all the support and love last year and here's to a NEW YEAR!

Crockpot Lovin'

I finally broke down and bought a crock pot. It's sorta like a crack pipe in that once you get a hit, you will never be able to go back (not that I would know). Tonight I made beef stew which can be VERY fattening and overly indulgent. Instead of throwing anything and everything into the pot, I was careful to trim the fat off the meat and buy products with no fat! You can make a SHIT ton of stuff with a crock pot but it might not always be the best for you. There is a website called Skinny Crock Pot that has a ton of recipes that are lighter and but still filling. I will be using this later in the week for more food.
I got brave with this recipe and added cinnamon. I would have never thought to put cinnamon in with beef, carrots, potatoes, and peas but something told me to do it. I don't know, I'm not going to stop genius. I am happy I listened to that little voice because OMFG is it amazing.

Ingredients

1to 1.5 lbs of beef chuck
6 red potatoes quartered
1 can of sweet peas
5 large carrots, peeled, chopped
2 tsp of cinnamon
1 tsp of cracked black pepper
2 bay leaves
3/4 of a box of non fat, low sodium beef broth

Directions

Layer with potatoes and veggies on the bottom followed by meat and beef broth. Cook for 7-8 hours on high depending on what kind of crock pot you have. Serve in about 1.5 cups per person.

Enjoy!

On the running front: I am doing well and signed up for my first 5k on Thanksgiving. I'm so pumped. I can't wait. I'm running 4 days a week. I'm going to start a new stage in run your butt off this week. I'm pretty pumped. Wish me luck!!

Worst.Blogger.Ever.

Well...It's official. I'm highly irresponsible. A lot of my friends who so kindly read my blog have been asking, "Where are you?" or "Why haven't you been blogging?" or "Why are so lazy?" JK on the last one. Here's the honest to God truth. I have been eating like shit and barely working out. I have been making excuse after excuse after excuse to NOT eat right and not work out. With the holiday season approaching fast, I MUST work to get it together. I will say, I am getting faster and stronger as I run. I ran my fastest average ever at 12:34 mins a mile. For a chick that used to forge her parent's signature to get out of running the mile in school (SORRY MOM!!!), that's badass.
I thought about writing a sob story saying how busy I am and how I just started grade school and wah wah wahhhhh. The reality is, we are all busy. We all got shit to do. I am no different than anyone. I just know how to talk myself out of running or eat right when I'm out. When I go to Happy Hour, I get a little too happy with all the chips and salsa and margaritas. I drink a lot more and I eat a lot more which means I have gained 3 pounds. You might say, OHHHH BIG FREAKING DEAL...no it is. I fight for every pound.
Being overweight or struggling with your weight is a life long commitment. It's not something that you say, I'm going to lose 18 pounds and that's it. Nice try. Just like an incurable disease, I will always struggle with my weight. I tend to forget that. I wish I can snap my fingers and that's it but of course here I am in my size 12 jeans.
To sum up all my ramblings, I am forgiving myself for not keeping up my summer routine (after school has started and so has grad school) and plowing ahead. I'm doing the MS 5k Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning with my boyfriend's mom. I am so excited to do this because I'm already running 2.7 miles to begin with so just a little more and I'm solid. Let's keep encouraging each other and keep the positive vibes coming!!!!!!!

CHEEEEESSSEEEEEE

I'm so sorry I have not blogged in a REALLY long time. I want to post this quick and VERY easy recipe that feed you all week. It's delicious and can be as simple or complex as possible. I promise to blog about my progress this week. Things are crazy with school, grad school, my friend's wedding, moving, and life in general!
Here is a great recipe for Cheesy Enchiladas at only 425 cals a serving!

Cheesy Enchiladas

The Yellow Ones Don't Stop.

That's right. The yellow ones don't stop. Neither do the red, black, tan, white, and all the colors of the rainbow don't stop. I'm talking about cars AND bikes. Really black Mercedes? Did you really need to do that rolling stop then stop again then get pissed because I am crossing. Oh and you douche bag on the bike, you're not hip and you're not cool with little shorts and unwillingness to stop or obey the rules of the road but you want to share it. Enough people. If you are on a moving object, I'm most likely going to get my ass handed to me so please watch out for walkers/runners.

Any who, I am on the 4th stage of Run Your Butt Off. I am now running 4 minutes and walking 2 minutes with a 5 minute warm up. I run a total of 20 minutes now. I love this program because it's simple and doable. They say your run should not be that much faster than your walk. If you walk at a 3.5 mph pace, you should run at 4.5-5 mph so that you don't over do yourself. It's not necessary to sprint because then you're not building your stamina. Take your time and remember to follow your program. If you're doing Couch to 5k (which is brilliant), walk when it says walk, run when it says run. Do not run more or even walk more. If you follow these programs, it will happen. So often we blame the diet or the exercise for our failure. Well SURPRISE, if you dont' do the work or if you don't eat the food YOU WON'T LOSE WEIGHT. If you don't do the running the schedule, you will not be a runner. It is as simple as that. You do NOT have to run, just walk or bike or swim. Do anything to keep your body moving. I look around my school and see KIDS that are struggling to make it up the stairs. Do not yourself or your loved ones be that person. Take care of your body and it will take care of you.