Fat Girl Syndrome (FGS)

This is a very serious syndrome. Girls have issues. Let's get that out of the way. We are always self evaluating, self scrutinizing, self harassing, self everything because let's be honest, it's all about you. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. I am dead serious. My mom always told me, "No one can make you happy but yourself." True dat Mama K.

I remember I was a freshman at UD when my mom did the hardest thing a mom could do. She told me I didn't look good in an outfit. She didn't say it because she was trying to hurt me but she was trying to save me. I was wearing ill fitting clothing and acting like it was completely okay. I suffered from Fat Girl Syndrome (FGS). It's the idea that you think you look good anything. You don't. You REALLY don't. Symptoms of FGS include but are not limited to:

-Muffin tops
-Too tight clothing
-Repetition of the line, "I am going to find a man that loves me and not my body."
-Skinny jeans that no longer look skinny but look like actual skin
-Eating to hide your feelings
-Excuses for not going to gym or trying to work out
-Drinking too much and making an ass of yourself on the dance floor because you look "sexy" in that strapless dress.
- Camel toe

You are probably thinking to yourself that I am a complete bitch for saying this but I am being honest. I wish someone had said this to me. I wish my mom didn't have to do something that goes against every fiber in her being. She shouldn't have to tell her daughter, "You look bad in that outfit and you need to change." Her daughter should have realized that her clothes were inappropriate.

I didn't really see my own body until I hit my highest weight of 245 my junior year of college. I decided enough was a enough and tried my best to figure out how to lose weight in college. That summer I went home and I tried Nutrisystem. It really showed me how much I was eating and how much actually NEEDED to eat. I love food but I want to eat food because I love it NOT because I feel like I need to eat it. It's that need that makes eating hard. I feel like I constantly need to eat. My friend Kelli asked me where I am starting and what are my point values. I am going to put myself out there and post a lovely picture of myself with my stats.

Height: 5'7"
Starting weight: 198
Current weight: 193
Goal weight: 179.5
Points allowed per day: 31
Anytime Points: 49
Highest weight in lifetime: 245
Lowest weight in lifetime: 165

The funny thing about weight loss...

I LOVE BREAKFAST! I WANT TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOF TOPS HOW MUCH I LOVE BREAKFAST!!!!!!! Okay I got that out of the way. I am always looking for a new way to eat breakfast. I need to find a balance between filling and points. I had eggs left over from my banana bread (1 egg, 2 egg whites) and WW bread that is only 2 points for 2 slices. I ran to the store and picked up some turkey bacon is 2 points for 3 slices (this will now be a staple in my frig). I added mushrooms and salt/pepper et VOILA!
For a total of 7 points, I got a fantastic breakfast!

The funny thing about weight loss is if you DO NOT TRY to lose weight, you won't. And this week I tried my hardest to NOT LOSE WEIGHT. I ate like SHIT all week. I chose to eat unhealthy because the FGS (Fat Girl Syndrom) came back. "I can eat what I want! I am beautiful! Blah, Blah, Blah" SHUT UP. No you can't. You need to make sacrifices and know that this is a process. Now that school has ended, I need to get back into the swing of things. Acme has a fruit sale going on right now so I will get some fruits and veggies I have never tried.

The spoils of chicken.

My boyfriend's mom gave us a recipe for the most fattening, most unhealthy thing ever created by man; Chicken Tetrazinni. I looked it up on WW and they sub out A LOT of things but it was mighty delicious. I usually take a picture BEFORE we eat but clearly someone could not hold out.
Here is the recipe.

12 oz Pasta, whole-wheat, uncooked, use whole-wheat egg noodles
1 spray(s) Cooking spray
2 Tbsp Margarine, fat free, divided
3 Tbsp Vinegar, tarragon-flavored
1 pound(s) Mushrooms, fresh, sliced (about 6 cups)
1½ cup(s) Chicken, broth, fat free
1 cup(s) Milk, fat free
4 tsp Arrowroot powder
1 tsp Dried thyme
1 tsp Tarragon, dried
½ tsp Salt, table, or more to taste
¼ tsp Pepper, black, or more to taste
¼ cup(s) Cream, sour, fat free
3 cup(s) Chicken breast, cooked, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 cup(s) Peas and carrots, raw, thawed
3 Tbsp SoyaKaas Grated parmesan style, or similar product

Instructions
1. Cook noodles according to package directions with added salt; drain and set aside.
2. Preheat oven to 375°F. Coat a 9 X 13-inch pan with cooking spray.
3. Heat 1 tablespoon of margarine and vinegar together in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add mushrooms; cook until soft, stirring, about 5 minutes. Remove mushrooms and set aside.
4. Whisk broth, milk and arrowroot together in a medium-size saucepan until smooth. Stir in remaining tablespoon of margarine; set over medium heat. Cook, stirring with a wooden spoon, until thickened and boiling, about 8 minutes. Stir in thyme, tarragon, salt and pepper. Remove sauce from heat; stir in sour cream.
5. Combine cooked noodles, chicken, mushrooms, peas and carrots, and sauce together in a large bowl. Pour into prepared pan; sprinkle with grated topping. Bake until bubbling and hot, and top is starting to brown, about 20 minutes. Slice into 8 pieces and serve.

The serving size is about 7 points. It's very good but be warned. It's not as creamy and savory as you thing it will be.

I am SO old.

Today, I walked my 8th grade class down to the cafeteria for a presentation on JROTC at Middletown High School. My first year teaching, I taught MHS and had some pretty incredible students. My sophomores graduated this year and they are all so grown up.
As I brought my lovelies into the cafeteria, I looked to my right and saw a young man. This young man's name is Ryan. He was an awkward sophomore when he walked into my classroom on day one of his high school career. He is now graduating with scholarship to University of Alabama and plans to join the United States Army after college with long term plans to attend law school.
I can not tell you how proud am to say I taught this young man. I can NOT believe how fast time flies, especially in terms of kids. These boys become men and these girls become women. It's so incredible to see them blossom, fail, thrive, persevere through all that adolescence has to throw at them. We all go through it and we all survive. Some come out with a greater understanding, some come out more unraveled than before. In the end, we are all children. I am reminded of this every day I walk in my classroom. The shit they say is incredible, the shit they do is unimaginable but they are so wonderfully children. They laugh at farts, they cry about boys, they make fun of each other using rudimentary jabs, they run outside and still find stickers AWESOME. The point is, we need to remember where we come from and things we went through as children. It could help us understand our own.

7th Grade Night of the Notables
(I was Gene Kelly. Why? He's a badass.)

Drill Team. Check out our hooker make-up.

And this is Kim, Mare and myself being WILD AND FREE in France during college. Best 4 month of my life. Just wanted to share this moment.

Always remember, some have not experienced what you have and have not learned the lessons you have. Be patient because one way or another they will learn.

I lied.

I decided NOT to cook but to bake on this pleasant day. Tomorrow is supposed to be hot as hell so it would not be appropriate to bake. I also happen to have 3 EXTREMELY ripe bananas just hanging out on my counter. Right now my apartment smells like delicious banana bread. I got the recipe from my trusty Weight Watchers website. It was SO easy to make and it's only 5 points per slice. I know that seems like a lot but if you compare it Starbucks Banana Nut Bread that is 11 points. The anticipation of baking is almost too much. I'm the kind of person that will literally jump in water first then ask their are sharks in the water afterward. I'm not one for waiting. Ever. Which is silly to think because I am ALWAYS late. Not to work, just to hang out with my friends.

Here is the Weight Watchers Recipe:
1 1/4 cup of flour, white
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 baking powder
3 tsp oil, canola
1 large whole egg
2 large egg whites
3 ripe bananas (suggest mainly brown)
1 cup of old fashion uncooked oats.

This is worth every bite. I would say that I'm going to share this bread but probably not. It's entire to good to give away. Unless your name begins with K and ends with ait.

And so we begin...

Today is my first step in actually cooking for myself. I have never been able to do so without over eating or throwing away food. My friend Julie started a blog about her weight loss and I believe it's the best way to be honest. I started at 198 and I am down to 190 in about 6 weeks. I can't help but say it's not enough because I went through a giant weight loss during late college and after but I wasn't doing it the healthy way. At my highest weight, I was 245 but I went to Paris, France for 4 month and it's 100% true; French women don't get fat. I dropped about 45 pounds. After college, I was determined to lose more but it wasn't the right way. I was eating maybe 800 calories a day and working out about 6 times a week for no less than 2 hours. The thing about weight loss is that you must own EVERY SINGLE POUND before you can truly commit to losing weight. I ate every single calorie and willingly gained every single pound. It's now time to commit to a lifetime change.
I'm starting very simple with a chicken salad recipe I got from the Weight Watchers App on my lovely iPhone. Here's the recipe:

3/4 pounds chicken, cooked, cubed
1/3 cups celery, raw, finely diced
1/3 cups pickles, without sugar (dill), finely diced
1/4 cups mayonnaise, reduced calorie
2 Tbsp sour cream
2 Tbsp parsley
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste

I purposely did not add any seasoning because I wanted to do a different seasoning every day. My friend Kait suggested I season it as I go that way I don't tase the same thing every day. I substituted celery for green onions and dijon for regular mustard. I can't but say I'm extremely cheap. I pair it with 100 calorie flat bread and you get a lunch sandwich for 6 points!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mexican food even though I'm a French teacher. Tomorrow I'm going to tackle Tex Mex Weight Watchers style :)