I win!

I did dietbet.com with a group of friends and bet $20 that I would lose 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks and BAM I lost 10 pounds. I have rediscovered my love for running and sweating my ass off. Literally. I didn't know if I had the motivation but I'm tired of being sad about my body. I literally woke up and said effe this. I need to take care of myself and love myself again. It feels so good to go to the gym and go for a run outside again. I'm enjoying pushing myself to move faster and faster. The best part is...it never gets boring. Of course it's difficult and I want to punch someone on certain days but g-dang I feel so good and so fulfilled at the end of my workout. I know my weight lose will slow down but I don't care because I'm building muscle. I'm sure you get frustrated when you don't lose but come on. If you say, "Ugh I didn't lose. Wah Wah Wah." and allow yourself to get down on yourself, there is something else going there besides weight. Truth. You gotta want to better yourself to keep it up. The time is now peeps.

It's been a long time...

As I sit here in my old college library, I'm reminded of my terrible eating habits. I wonder how different college would have been if I had led a healthier lifestyle. Would I have the courage that I have now to try different things and go different places? I like to reflect on the past and change my future. Yep, I'm one of those people.
I started classes yet again and yet again...no time to cook. I have good a good balance though with my meals. When I have time, I cook. I don't cook good things but terrible things. I don't trust myself to eat correctly when I cook. I literally need someone to perfectly measure my meals. When I don't have time, I have a bowl of oatmeal or yogurt with fruit. In the past 3 weeks, I have been extremely conscious of what I put in my body knowing exactly how many calories I have left. I have also notice, I am NOT trend setter. I'm a stealer or borrower, if you will. I don't pave the way for anyone. I'm not creative in my cooking or my workouts BUT I am determined. And if you're trying to lose weight, I'm your biggest fan. I've been there, I've done that. Every FREAKING diet known to man. In fact, I'm doing dietbet.com with a group of girlfriends in which you bet $20 you can lose 4% of your body weight. Well guess what happens when you cut your calories and ACTUALLY pay attention to what you eat? Oh that's right. You lose weight. Which is what I have done in the last 3 weeks. Eight pounds. Shocker.
So I already won which means, this mama is happy. I'd do it again because LORD KNOWS I hate losing money.
Go work out, eat right and god willing, you will lose weight. It's that simple people :)

Feeling Fat...yeah so am I. That's why I made Mac and Cheese.

Obviously this is the most fattening, most delicious, most guiltiest of all pleasures. Cheese. Cheese is so damn divine that I cannot explain it with words. I can only say that if I were offered a job that I got to taste cheese all day and do nothing else, I would take it and throw it everyone's face that I get paid to eat cheese.
This afternoon, with snow on the ground and my Fat Girl Syndrome hitting hard, I knew I had to make something that was savory and warmed my big ol' belly. That my friends is Mac and Cheese. Not just any Mac and Cheese but Valveeta Mac and Cheese. With this in mind, I chose ingredients that were lower in fat over all but still delicious. Let's be real...you won't eat it unless it's good.
I got the recipe from Kraft Recipes but I made some skinny decisions.

I added Turkey bacon, sweet peas, 2% milk cheeses (Mozzarella and Cheddar), and non-fat milk. I know it's still fattening and not the healthiest of foods for you but once again...you won't eat it unless it's good. And skinny doesn't always taste good. It's all called moderation people. I didn't eat the entire try (that's what I have Kevin for) and I don't eat seconds (I save for the next day because it saves money and calories).
Of all the Mac and Cheeses I have attempted, this is the best tasting and easiest to make! I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

I'm really losing it.

I had a terrible food weekend. I discovered my other trigger is cereal. I never knew. The only reason I can think of is that it's so easily accessed. Pour yourself a bowl...or two...or three. Stop judging. I judged myself enough. I ate a shit ton of cereal. No reason in particular. Seriously though, I went ape shit on that cereal. I overate. A LOT. I ate like I was starving. It's completely psychological. I tell myself, "This is it. No more." then I go crazy. I eat everything. From now, I need to slow down and enjoy the show.
I'm realizing more and more that it's my eating habits that are killing but not just what I eat. I notice that my eating schedule is off on the weekends because I'm not eating breakfast at 5:30 am or lunch at 10:30 am. This needs to change. The more realistic way to change this is to wait to eat my breakfast later so that I'm not starving. I also need to give myself those food that I want. Every payday, I go to Starbucks and order a coffee with cream and sugar and a warmed raspberry scone. It's so good, it hurts. I eat it too fast though. If I took my time, I would probably be able to enjoy more.
Today I went grocery shopping and I bought some items that I believe will help or have helped with curving that craving. I also went with the idea of the incredible egg! I hard boiled some eggs and bought snack foods that have the most impact on my hunger.
I bought the Jiff Peanut Butter cups and Planter's snack packs. Hopefully these tricks will help me get it in gear. OH and I ran for 30 minutes at 2.75 miles. Nice and slow :)

No shocker here!

Went to the doctor's today and NO SURPRISE, I gained a lot of weight in the past two months. 10 pounds to be exact. I would start listing reason why I gained weight but you and I both know why I gained weight. No, not the holidays. Just flat out lazy. Eat and drink alllllll day. So that means I'm up to 196 lbs. I expect to gain weight because u build muscle when you run but this more than that. I would be trimmer which I WAS but now I'm flubby. Listen, this is not me saying oh I'm so fat wah wah wah. Someone call the wahbulence. This is real life. Yes I'm overweight and feeling. I'm happy the scale knows how to punch you in the face.

Excuses. Excuses.

The usual fat girl action. Excuse. Having an excuse for everything done and not done. For example, my excuse for not blogging is the start of the school of year and the start of grad school which led to less running which led to more eating out which led to more happy hourssss which led to more binge eating which led oh who cares if it's just one more sweet treat annnnd you get the point.
I've learned some things in the past 3 months. I've learned that I and you can really do anything that you set your mind. Setting goals are scary and daunting but once they are set, so are you. Even if you don't accomplish them in full YOU FREAKING TRIED. That's the first step. I'm terrified of failure BUT you learn more when you fail. Now I sound like I'm talking to my students. In all seriousness, failing is an option and if you do fail...Fuck it. Put your big girl panties on and get it in gear. I didn't loose anymore weight in fact I'm 99.98% sure I gained more weight. Oh but I did run a 5k. Booooyah. I also learned that I am good at finding excuses for everything I do, whether it be one more glass of wine or one less minute on the treadmill or one more day of procrastination in my school work. I'm reeeeeeeally good at it. As I explained before, it's the worst thing I can do for myself. It's my greatest enemy. Not to sound all deep, but at times I am my own worst enemy. I can't do this on my own. It's not possible. Maybe you are the strongest person and YOU know what's best but I don't. I need someone there telling me PUT IT DOWN FATTY. Okay, not that way but you get the point. It takes a village to raise a child well it takes a metropolis to lose weight. I need support and I have it. I just never realized it. My friends support me and I support them which is usually how friendships work to begin with. With them, WE CAN DO THIS. Finally, I learned that peanut butter is the biggest trigger I have. I can destroy an entire jar if I wasn't judging myself so badly. So it's with a heavy heart and a lot of whining, I have to give it up. I know there are alternatives but let's be real...they're gateway drugs. I would eat all the low calories and low fat ones but that's like saying it's okay to lust after Gary Busy when you want George Clooney. Legitimate comparison. Once I'm done with peanut butter in my house, I have to cut back. I'm going to buy the snack packs and once those are gone...I'm going to attempt an every other week routine. I know how this sounds but this true. I'm a food addict. I want peanut butter all the time. Not because I'm hungry but because I can have it. Pathetic.
So there it is. To the 3 people who read this, I'm sorry for not keeping up but I got new kicks and better understanding of what is necessary to get into shape.
Thank you for all the support and love last year and here's to a NEW YEAR!

Crockpot Lovin'

I finally broke down and bought a crock pot. It's sorta like a crack pipe in that once you get a hit, you will never be able to go back (not that I would know). Tonight I made beef stew which can be VERY fattening and overly indulgent. Instead of throwing anything and everything into the pot, I was careful to trim the fat off the meat and buy products with no fat! You can make a SHIT ton of stuff with a crock pot but it might not always be the best for you. There is a website called Skinny Crock Pot that has a ton of recipes that are lighter and but still filling. I will be using this later in the week for more food.
I got brave with this recipe and added cinnamon. I would have never thought to put cinnamon in with beef, carrots, potatoes, and peas but something told me to do it. I don't know, I'm not going to stop genius. I am happy I listened to that little voice because OMFG is it amazing.

Ingredients

1to 1.5 lbs of beef chuck
6 red potatoes quartered
1 can of sweet peas
5 large carrots, peeled, chopped
2 tsp of cinnamon
1 tsp of cracked black pepper
2 bay leaves
3/4 of a box of non fat, low sodium beef broth

Directions

Layer with potatoes and veggies on the bottom followed by meat and beef broth. Cook for 7-8 hours on high depending on what kind of crock pot you have. Serve in about 1.5 cups per person.

Enjoy!

On the running front: I am doing well and signed up for my first 5k on Thanksgiving. I'm so pumped. I can't wait. I'm running 4 days a week. I'm going to start a new stage in run your butt off this week. I'm pretty pumped. Wish me luck!!